Duck Duck Cougar?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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