I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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