So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
