I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
