dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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