i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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