i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My dick has a subreddit
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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