1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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