What a fucking waste of an outfit
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
