its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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