i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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