Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
