seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
