Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
