Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
