I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
