My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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