I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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