My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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