This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize