You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize