I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
