Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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