Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
