how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
