The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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