You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
