Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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