part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
