Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
