Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The Olympian is in my bed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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