Its about making memories worth repressing
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
