i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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