Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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