Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
