Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
