I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
