well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
