we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
