I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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