Kiss
Puke
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
