i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
