So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
