9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
