# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
