dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm at about main and main street
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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