physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
