you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize