I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
