brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Girls should come with a carfax report
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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