Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
