Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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