just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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