Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Panties = found
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
