i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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