Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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