his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
