is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
