I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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