I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize