It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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