Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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