1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
